all three lights

There’s an episode of The Simpsons where the citizens decide to eradicate the color green from all traffic lights to “study traffic patterns”. As you can imagine, chaos ensues in the fictional town of Springfield.

The yellow light’s function is to help people slow down, but without a green light to keep the equilibrium balanced, yellow evokes panic: causing people to slam on the gas as they tear through the intersection and pray they make it through.

This episode has stuck in my head like hot peanut butter to the roof of your mouth. I can recall sitting on the couch with my entire family watching it. I remember us laughing, and the way the couch was positioned.

In thinking about Winter and my relationship with this unforgiving yet essential season, I’ve been contemplating the importance of slowing down, the importance of the yellow light before spring brings on the green. 

Living in a year-round temperate climate for eleven years proved wonderful: filled with bliss and legs free from the constraints of tight pants and high socks. Alas, we moved back to bask in the joy of family and the balance of four even seasons, intending to embrace winter, to someday enjoy it.

As the years pass and my joints start to creak, my anxiety is more noticeable and the toll stress has taken on me more palpable. All of a sudden, I find myself clenching my jaw and hands while I sleep, the ongoing to-do lists keeping me up at night in trepidation.

The need for me to slow down, to embrace the yellow light, is felt now more than ever. When the outside is warm and the sun is high in the sky, and there are endless tasks to complete and parks to explore, I go go go until my knees ache and I forget to relax my toes and shoulders.

As sleet falls from the sky and the dark clouds loom over, I am grateful for nature’s permission to slow down. 

In January I can spend my Saturday night writing letters on my typewriter, reorganize my jeans, and take a long hot shower just because. I’m grateful for all three traffic lights, for all four seasons, and for every turn in the bumpy road. 

My favorite traffic sign is ‘Curves Ahead’, but my second favorite is ‘Slow, Proceed with Caution.’ When I’m driving and I see a yellow light up ahead, I force myself to slow down instead of speed up. To enjoy the 60 seconds of pause. To belt out ‘The Excavator Song’ with Ollie or to listen to my breath. And then, when the light does turn green, we GO.